Welcome to the future...What after marriage?

Some days at Mumbai, with nothing noteworthy to do except wait for the Monday to arrive so that I can join Siemens, allowed my mind to rush through the delicacies of life...My mind pondered over many things. Let me put them down in brief. But, it is surely interested and captivating topic for humans like us, in our early 20's!

It is my Siemens who says, ‘we answer to the toughest questions’…

I wonder how things changed within so such a time frame. Think of the life span of our grand parents who lived to their fullest in their married lives and earned then. They had more than 'ample' time to give to their soul mates. 

Next came our parents who were neutral in this regard and they had to perfectly balance both married life and earning/job. And they did. They had ample time to give to the soul mates and to earn their living too.

Next, it's our turn to prove ourselves. It is now the time to prove that, 'Yes! We have the time to marry and we will do it!' Where married life, rather the life with our dreamed/loved ones is a better phrase nowadays, is on one side and our jobs/incomes on the other. It is very hard to hold both the things tightly and it will intrigue others if we do so.

Needless to say that side, with earning income, is almost touching heights. Time is not far when there will be no time with us to 'invest' in marriages and they will be held through emails. And that too in the leisure office hours. The rituals will be performed through youtube and google videos. Necklaces and rings will be sent as jpg images, and yes, in encrypted formats so that nobody could steal it. Lunch for the families and friends will be clubbed with those of some festival or might be, god knows, it might happen that lunch transforms into 'marriage coffee' or 'marriage tea' instead of marriage lunch/dinner, to save time obviously. Yes, there will be various coffee's for various 'class' functions. Simple coffee for the lower class, filter coffee or cappuccino for the middle class and here comes for the high class, the CCD coffee, anything can happen over a coffee. Worth a tag line!

It may happen that the 'muhurt' will depend upon the 'network availability' and of course will be at weekends and the photographers will be the then century webcams.  And guess what, guests will be sent an e-invitation card, which is not new nowadays. But the present cards have 'Your presence is the most valuable gift' at the bottom. Time is ahead when it will say 'Please avoid obscene chats and direct personal comments during the function'. Surprised??

These are simlple transformations of the words which are not far ahead.

1. Function hall -> chat room or the group chat.

2. 'muhurt' -> 'network availability' 

3. Marriage Lunch -> marriage teas or coffees

4. gifts -> e-order of the gifts.

5. rings or necklaces -> jpeg images, of course encrypted

6. Photographers -> Webcams

7. Patrika -> CV

But, what about the emotions and feelings, at least of the newly married couple if not of the family members. Who will take care of them??

Do not worry. Technology answers everything. Hugs and kisses will be sent, as they are now, through emoticons. More to it, you can always send files with whatever you want to write.

But, my only fear these emoticons things may not just stop to hugs and kisses, but go ahead to Ahh's and Ohh's. Might be true, but what after these emoticons?? What next??

Welcome to the future...

Let us wait and see what lies ahead but it is for sure that it is time to think on how to 'culture' our next generation!

Intel dual core processors, 'Whooo hoooon'!

Sporty Leaders of sports...

Hockey coaches teach hockey, they guide the players to play hockey. But,the concern here is this happens 'sometimes'.Sexual misconduct allegations against national field hockey and weightlifting coaches are plaguing the news nowadays. What are the leaders up to? Where are they leading, not only themselves but the subordinates???

It's alias, The New Delhi Commonwealth Games (C.W.G.)has been in the news for the some of the prominent achievements! Achieving highest figures possible in the financial scams. They are in the spot light for every possible reason,by delays in the construction of infrastructure and venues, which should have been finished months ago for test events but instead, are just starting to come on line now, cutting it fine with competition set to commence on October 3, for the financial scandals, etc.

But, I give due respect to the name C.W.G -> Common Wealth Games. Very true. The 'game' played with the 'Common Wealth' on the board and the threads in the hands of our Hon'ble Mr. Suresh Kalmadi!

After all, the CWG song itself says,

"Yeh toh khel hai

Bada mail hai

Milaa diya… milaa diya!"

I just wonder to which game the word 'khel' in the song refers to and what does it mean when it says ' Milaa diya...milaa diya'!

Cheers to Indian Sports and the sporty leaders of this Sport!

Existing battle for existence
         ...If it is heads, I win; If it is Tails, you lose!

I'm back after a long while..

Recently, rather yesterday, a very captivating, though very bad bad, news struck my batch-mates. It went on like this..

A boy named XYZ had received the joining date of ABC company (for this very reason that didn't yet receive the joining date he was very nervous and frustrated). Couple of days later, somewhere around mid week, he was over excited hearing the news that he had been called to join ABC on Monday, tomorrow. He was happy and made himself busy in the joining the company preparations. I'm saying here that he was happy because this is what we friends perceived from his very acts and behavior then. Things were going smoothly, everyone busy in their own lives and XYZ calling some heads rarely, as he usually did, saying that there was fear prevailing in him about the new company, the new city, the new life. Our friends tried their best to erase this orthodox thinking lines from him and they were successful, at least, seem to be.

Suddenly, on Sunday afternoon, everybody's phone rang and the news that XYZ had committed a suicide spread much more than wild fire. Nobody, including I, want to pen down how the process of so called 'Suicide' was executed as it is much much more than just pity.

This post is not just to mention the incident or for the sake of posting a Breaking News or for any intentional News spreading motto. But, being a citizen of India, I have something to say with authority. Rather, I've something to express my concern about. This series of student suicide is becoming popular in lines as of the TV serials 'Kunku' or 'Chaar divas Sasuche' (Marathi) or 'Taarak Mehta ka Ulta chesma'(Hindi) etc. This train of student suicide is also running on a parallel track to the one of farmer suicides.

But my deepest concern is that where the popularity of the TV serials is just an illusion or it has no direct relation to the mortality of a country and in regards to the farmers suicide, there are means which if followed by the governing body might curb the rate farmers suicide, if not reduce drastically (Although the issue of, the means 'to be' followed by the governing body is of much more concern), there are no such means which the governing body can follow which can help to reduce, and not only curb, the mortality of this young red blood. I can base my views on the fact that making the youth 'strong', is an individual responsibility rather than shirking i onto the governing body. It is the responsibility of the parents, who are the very reason of increasing the head count of a nation by one, to teach the new being, the way to 'live'. And this should be done, right through the childhood and not when the youth start flying away from their very ones and very things and become independent, at least try to be. When it comes to suicide, the strength of the individual comes into the picture and by saying strength I mean to collect all the strengths one can have under one canopy, the mental, emotional, ethical, logical, psychological, etc and physical coming at the last.

I healthily urge the parents, to imbibe in their children, the very fact that

'This World is a very better place, unless you think so..' and teach them appropriate way to live. It might happen that this is difficult, as the way to live are very few which can be put into the young minds but the counter parts, ways to die are countless...It is the battle of the existence and of the non existence, the later trying to behold the former is all possible ways...

The closer you get to light, the larger your shadow becomes…

What’s in your shadow?

The most disgusting part I think about is many around us are not ready to bend and to change the, very few, better, traits in them. This is your dark side, the part of yourself that you are ashamed of or embarrassed about and you aren’t ready to show off. But why not to your dear ones???

It is fear, judgment, perfectionism, control, resentment, regret, guilt and greed. Each of these is part of you and part of me. The reason I recognize these traits in others is because I have them in me. Instead of denying your shadow side, you can become grateful for it because it allows you to heal and grow ‘you’.

Until you do this work, you will not recognize that you are projecting your issues onto others. Shadow work is very rewarding; but it is also difficult because when we do it we feel we are giving up or losing something.

Our ego resists shadow work. Some say that we spend the first 21 years of our life carrying a bag over our shoulder and any time we don’t like a certain aspect of ourselves, we put it in the bag instead of looking at it, owning and examining it. Instead we deny, resist and forget that it is even there, that is until we see it in another person.

Anytime you are upset, irritated or at wit’s end with someone else, it is really about you. It is about what you carry in your bag. You are never finished with this work.  In order to live, you must continue to take your shadow parts out of the bag and examine them. That is the only way you grow.

Due to our strong egos, we often have a difficult time doing this. The picture that comes to mind for me is when I was three years old. My mother has me by the hand and wants to move forward. The tighter she holds my hand, the more I pull down and resist with all my weight. Just as when I was three, sometimes I don’t want to move forward. I don’t want to see what I need to change in order to grow and move on to higher ground. That little three-year-old child screams, “No,” very loudly and holds back out of fear. That is, until I can’t stand it anymore.

At this point I have a choice to stay miserable in a relationship or do my own work. The weakest part of a ‘relation’ is that you are half part and the other end shares the other half. The good things, the bad things; only half things are in your hand. Much also depends on other person…

You can take a personal inventory. Be loving and compassionate with yourself. With honesty you will be able to recognize your patterns.

When I am honest I recognize that the control, negativity and anger I notice in others are about the control, anger and negativity that I feel or have felt. I recognize it because my own past experiences with a severe case of anger mania, controlitis, and negativity syndrome. In other words the person or situation upsetting me is actually mirroring what I need to heal in myself.

I have a very loud voice and I am straight forward. I feel ashamed and embarrassed about it many times, but not every time. I do treat this as my ‘strength’. Some years back I was told by a friend of mine that being straightforward is not your mistake actually, it’s your inner self. They are the genes in you, the culprit. I can’t tell you how human I felt. He was the first person to validate me by telling me said it wasn’t my fault.

Once I accepted this about myself it was no longer an issue. Someone can tell me to calm down or to lower my voice and it doesn’t push my buttons. I know I will take over my genes. I have that determination and that guts to change the inner self of me.

One of the rewards of healing your shadow part is one has the opportunity to turn your greatest faults into your greatest gifts.

My voice makes me a very strong professional speaker. I am often complimented by many but tt is still sometimes hard to control especially when I’m excited.

 We all have a shadow side. No one is immune. It is how you survived your difficult childhood. Shadow work is enlightening.

If you spot it you got it…

Wish you  a Happy and successful  shadowing…

 

Changing Seasons

As we endeavor to find personal fulfillment and realize our individual ideals, we naturally form emotional attachments to those outcomes we hope will come to pass. These expectations can serve as a source of stability and encouragement, allowing us to draft plans based on our visions of the future, but they can also limit our potential for happiness by blinding us to equally satisfying yet unexpected outcomes. Instead of taking pleasure in the surprising circumstances unfolding around us, we mourn for the anticipation left unfulfilled. When we think of letting go of our expectations, we may find ourselves at the mercy of a small inner voice that discourages us to strive for specific goals, even if they continually escape us. However, the opposite of expectation is not pessimism. We can retain our optimism and free ourselves from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening our hearts and minds to a wide variety of possible outcomes.

When we expect a situation, event, or confrontation to unfold in a certain way, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the surprises that have the potential to become fundamental blessings. Likewise, we may feel that we failed to meet our inner objectives because we were unable to bring about the desired results through our choices and actions. Consider, though, that we are all at the mercy of the universal flow, and our best intentions are often thwarted by fate, destiny or life, whatever. As you grow increasingly open to unforeseen outcomes, you will be more appropriate to look for and recognize the positive elements of your new circumstances. This receptivity to the unexpected can serve you well when you are called upon to compromise with others, your life plans seem to go cockeyed or the world moves forward in an unanticipated manner by granting you the flexibility to see the positive aspects of almost any outcome.

The further you distance yourself from your expectations, the livelier your life will become. Though a situation in which you find yourself may not correspond to your initial wants, needs, or goals, ask yourself how you can make the most of it and then do your best to adapt. Your life’s journey will likely take many unpredicted and astonishing twists because you are willing to release your primal expectations.

Considerate enough...

Majority of issues in your life happen because of one thing: not being considerate of others. Many friends can have their own logic, but they will not be considerate of others. Such people may not realize that, or they may hide such a trait under different unrelated ideas in order to not look bad, like “being strong“, or “not caring about opposition“, or “not being affected by things easily” or something similar. All such things do exist, but not in the world of inconsiderate people; inconsiderate people simply use such words to hide their inconsiderate and selfish nature.

Many people are simply inconsiderate of others. The more you are considerate of others, the more you realize how someone else may be taking advantage of you since you can easily realize the situations when being considerate of others can happen only when someone else is unfairly wanting everything and not being considerate of you on purpose.

I am not getting the solution...not being considerate about others so that we will be unable to realize that they are serving their purpose? If yes, will it stop them from acting inconsiderate or merely lessen our problems??

This too shall pass…

Recently, I experienced one of my dark periods. I call them that because they’re those which hit-rock-bottom emotional moments when everything seems dark and depressed.

In these moods, nothing seems good; everything seems wrong. There are so many problems swirling around in your brain that you can’t focus on any of them. And the problems which aren’t really a problem also stand before us like something very messed up.  You feel like a complete failure, that everything you have touched has turned to pieces. That life is just one big struggle. And you’re losing.

They say these moments happen most often at life transition or reinvention points. All of these moments involve big change and change rewrites our mental maps. It forces us off familiar or well defined paths, so we get lost sometimes. That’s often confusing and depressing.

Now, I’m a creative personality, but I haven’t reinvented such in my life, so I am seeing this thing as pretty difficult. Negative thoughts and half understood problems swirl around in your head like wind-driven snow, control the process, they take control of ‘me’. But, I will reinvent myself. I surely will!

In the midst of our pursuits in life, we experience many simple happy moments as well as wonderful life affirming events like births, graduations and marriages. And at other times, certain events frustrate and challenge us. We seem to have little or no control over them. Despite adopting a ‘positive thinking’ attitude, we are faced regularly with minor problems like traffic or surly people. Less frequently, we find ourselves shaken by traumatic events like death, sickness or accidents or problems in inter personal relations that rock the foundation of our existence. It happens to every human being. No one is exempt from life’s polarities. In our life, we encounter happy or sad moments daily. When it happens we get swept away by the moment, feeling elated, angry, sad or overwhelmed and we lose our sense of balance or inner equilibrium.

The right approach at this transient time would be to maintain our balance, accept and learn from the moment, take it in our pace while remaining detached. Become an observer instead of being a victim of circumstances – remember this moment too shall pass.

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