The closer you get to light, the larger your shadow becomes…

What’s in your shadow?

The most disgusting part I think about is many around us are not ready to bend and to change the, very few, better, traits in them. This is your dark side, the part of yourself that you are ashamed of or embarrassed about and you aren’t ready to show off. But why not to your dear ones???

It is fear, judgment, perfectionism, control, resentment, regret, guilt and greed. Each of these is part of you and part of me. The reason I recognize these traits in others is because I have them in me. Instead of denying your shadow side, you can become grateful for it because it allows you to heal and grow ‘you’.

Until you do this work, you will not recognize that you are projecting your issues onto others. Shadow work is very rewarding; but it is also difficult because when we do it we feel we are giving up or losing something.

Our ego resists shadow work. Some say that we spend the first 21 years of our life carrying a bag over our shoulder and any time we don’t like a certain aspect of ourselves, we put it in the bag instead of looking at it, owning and examining it. Instead we deny, resist and forget that it is even there, that is until we see it in another person.

Anytime you are upset, irritated or at wit’s end with someone else, it is really about you. It is about what you carry in your bag. You are never finished with this work.  In order to live, you must continue to take your shadow parts out of the bag and examine them. That is the only way you grow.

Due to our strong egos, we often have a difficult time doing this. The picture that comes to mind for me is when I was three years old. My mother has me by the hand and wants to move forward. The tighter she holds my hand, the more I pull down and resist with all my weight. Just as when I was three, sometimes I don’t want to move forward. I don’t want to see what I need to change in order to grow and move on to higher ground. That little three-year-old child screams, “No,” very loudly and holds back out of fear. That is, until I can’t stand it anymore.

At this point I have a choice to stay miserable in a relationship or do my own work. The weakest part of a ‘relation’ is that you are half part and the other end shares the other half. The good things, the bad things; only half things are in your hand. Much also depends on other person…

You can take a personal inventory. Be loving and compassionate with yourself. With honesty you will be able to recognize your patterns.

When I am honest I recognize that the control, negativity and anger I notice in others are about the control, anger and negativity that I feel or have felt. I recognize it because my own past experiences with a severe case of anger mania, controlitis, and negativity syndrome. In other words the person or situation upsetting me is actually mirroring what I need to heal in myself.

I have a very loud voice and I am straight forward. I feel ashamed and embarrassed about it many times, but not every time. I do treat this as my ‘strength’. Some years back I was told by a friend of mine that being straightforward is not your mistake actually, it’s your inner self. They are the genes in you, the culprit. I can’t tell you how human I felt. He was the first person to validate me by telling me said it wasn’t my fault.

Once I accepted this about myself it was no longer an issue. Someone can tell me to calm down or to lower my voice and it doesn’t push my buttons. I know I will take over my genes. I have that determination and that guts to change the inner self of me.

One of the rewards of healing your shadow part is one has the opportunity to turn your greatest faults into your greatest gifts.

My voice makes me a very strong professional speaker. I am often complimented by many but tt is still sometimes hard to control especially when I’m excited.

 We all have a shadow side. No one is immune. It is how you survived your difficult childhood. Shadow work is enlightening.

If you spot it you got it…

Wish you  a Happy and successful  shadowing…

 

Changing Seasons

As we endeavor to find personal fulfillment and realize our individual ideals, we naturally form emotional attachments to those outcomes we hope will come to pass. These expectations can serve as a source of stability and encouragement, allowing us to draft plans based on our visions of the future, but they can also limit our potential for happiness by blinding us to equally satisfying yet unexpected outcomes. Instead of taking pleasure in the surprising circumstances unfolding around us, we mourn for the anticipation left unfulfilled. When we think of letting go of our expectations, we may find ourselves at the mercy of a small inner voice that discourages us to strive for specific goals, even if they continually escape us. However, the opposite of expectation is not pessimism. We can retain our optimism and free ourselves from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening our hearts and minds to a wide variety of possible outcomes.

When we expect a situation, event, or confrontation to unfold in a certain way, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the surprises that have the potential to become fundamental blessings. Likewise, we may feel that we failed to meet our inner objectives because we were unable to bring about the desired results through our choices and actions. Consider, though, that we are all at the mercy of the universal flow, and our best intentions are often thwarted by fate, destiny or life, whatever. As you grow increasingly open to unforeseen outcomes, you will be more appropriate to look for and recognize the positive elements of your new circumstances. This receptivity to the unexpected can serve you well when you are called upon to compromise with others, your life plans seem to go cockeyed or the world moves forward in an unanticipated manner by granting you the flexibility to see the positive aspects of almost any outcome.

The further you distance yourself from your expectations, the livelier your life will become. Though a situation in which you find yourself may not correspond to your initial wants, needs, or goals, ask yourself how you can make the most of it and then do your best to adapt. Your life’s journey will likely take many unpredicted and astonishing twists because you are willing to release your primal expectations.